Last night, I leapt thru the ceiling. There was something appealing about leaving my body behind, and coming through as you circled over head. I said all the things that had been missing from the funeral that I’d been forbidden from taking any part in, and you forgave me for everything while the victims of the song, sounded their applause.
“I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.”— Ned Vizzini
I’ve manipulated more situations than I’d like to admit.
I’m learning to become a better person.
I like it,
But I don’t.
I still have a mass dislike for injustice and it blurs the line of my convictions and compassion.
Taking the time to acknowledge how lucky I am to have met someone who completely opened my heart up and took a chance on this black soul. She’s still taking a chance, cause im constantly evolving. We both are taking chances, for different reasons.
On top of that, best orgasms I’ve ever experienced, ever in my life. Ground shattering.
Im so lucky ❤
Plus, her love at the end of the day is what ties all of my loose ends together. She is home.
I’ve lost a lot of friends.
Doesn’t phase me much.
Lost the love of my life, took a long time, but now it feels like nothing.
Actually…not sure what she meant to me.
It feels like nothing now.
But two years ago it felt like everything.
In and out
Out and in
The only resonating feeling that has ever lasted, so strong till this day, is my love, longing and desperation for my brother Jonathan.
I feel so alone without him, til this day.
But I know he is there.
Just like when he was alive and I refused to let him in. I felt alone anyway. He always made sure I knew I wasn’t alone, but I swore I was alone anyway.
He was constantly in my face and in my space. He thought I was so cool. I low key thought he was really cool too and felt proud of him over nothing essentially. Never told him that.
I miss him. So much. Everyday.
